Dating your cousins cousin

dating your cousins cousin

I visited Nana recently and went through the usual activities—talking about myself in a loud voice, fixing her “broken machine” by unminimizing the internet browser window, being told to slow down Timothy and get in the left lane, even though the turn is still a half mile ahead. But I also used the visit as an opportunity to do something I have not done nearly enough in my life—ask her questions about our family.

I don’t know you, but I can almost guarantee that you don’t ask your grandparents (or older parents) enough questions about their lives and the lives of their parents. We’re all incredibly self-absorbed, and in being so, we forget to care about the context of the lives we’re so immersed in. We can use google to learn anything we want about world history and our country’s history, but our own personal history—which we really should know quite well—can only be accessed by asking questions.

During my visit, Nana referred to herself as “the last of the Mohicans,” meaning basically everyone she spent her life with is dead—her husband, siblings, cousins, and friends are all gone. Besides that being the most depressing fact of all time, it was also a jarring wake-up call that a treasure trove of rich and detailed information about my family’s past exists in one and only one place—an 89-year-old brain—and if I kept dicking around, most of that information would be lost forever.

I learned more than I had ever known about her childhood. I knew she and my grandfather had grown up during the Great Depression, but I never really knew the unbelievable details—things like her seeing a mother and her children being thrown onto the sidewalk by their landlord and left there to starve and freeze until every neighbor on the block chipped in a coin or two from their own impoverished situation so the woman could rent a room for one more month.

I learned a ton about my four paternal great-grandparents—again, I had known the basic info about them, but it was the details that for the first time made them real people. Three of them grew up in rough New York orphanages—the fourth left everything she knew in Latvia in her mid-teens and took a boat alone across the Atlantic, arriving in New York to work in a sweatshop.

I even for the first time heard stories about my grandmother’s grandmother, who came over separately from Latvia and lived with the family for her last years—and apparently had quite the personality. Thankfully, she died in 1941, just months before she would have learned that her four sons (who unlike their mother and sister, stayed in Latvia because they had a thriving family business there) were all killed in the Holocaust.

I knew none of this. How did I just learn now that my great-grandmother’s four brothers died in the Holocaust? And now that, for the first time, I know my four paternal great-grandparents and great-great grandmother as real, complex people with distinct personalities, I cannot believe I spent my life up to now satisfied with knowing almost nothing about them. Especially since it’s their particular orphanage/sweatshop/Great Depression struggle that has led to my ridiculously pleasant life.

A: When it comes to the biological relationship between prospective spouses, the Church has laws which are based on natural law. We all know that genetic problems tend to arise in children whose parents are too closely related by blood. Canon law is therefore simply reflecting what nature (i.e., God) intended.

A casual reader of canon 1091 , the canon which directly addresses Jeremy’s question, will most likely find it hopelessly confusing. Among other things, it states that marriage is invalid between persons related by consanguinity in all degrees of the direct line ( c. 1091.1 ), and that in the collateral line, marriage is invalid up to and including the fourth degree ( c. 1091.2 ). Understanding how to apply these abstract rules to concrete cases probably requires a little unpacking first!

While direct-line consanguinity is pretty easy to calculate, figuring other blood relationships can quickly become rather complex. The term “collateral line” refers to all relationships that at least partly involve siblings. Brothers and sisters are the clearest example of relatives in the collateral line, but collateral-line consanguinity refers also to relations between aunt/uncle and niece/nephew — as well as to cousins.

Complications arise because as we all know, there are various types of aunt/uncle and niece/nephew relationships (great-aunt and great-nephew is one example), and there are certainly many types of cousins. What we popularly term “first cousins,” for example, are the children of two siblings, but there are second- and third-cousins to contend with as well. The list of collateral relationships goes on and on!

To make the picture even more confusing, the Code of Canon Law is based on old Roman law when it comes to family relationships, so it doesn’t use our common terminology. That’s why the term “first cousin,” for example, is found nowhere in the code. In canon 108 , the code provides some general definitions to explain the system it does use, which involves lines and degrees.

We’ve already seen how the “lines” work; consanguinity involves either direct lines or collateral lines. But how does one calculate the “degrees”? Let’s take a few cases as examples, to see how it works, and then see how canon 1091 on marriage directly applies to them.

Picture two siblings, Nancy and Mark. They are two people with a common ancestor (or in this case, two common ancestors—their parents). In accord with canon 108.3 , we count the persons in both lines, but not the common ancestor(s). There are only two people involved here, and therefore Nancy and Mark’s relationship is considered second-degree consanguinity in the collateral line.

Medellin women are beautiful, and word is spreading pretty much around the world. Therefor, I have decided document my experience. I have been dating Medellin for over 5 years now.  When I first arrived here, there wasn’t yet a complete guide to dating paisa women . I had to learn everything from experience, and it’s been a blast.

NOTE: I wrote this post about my experience dating women in Medellin back in April of 2013. Over the past 5 years I’ve dated many Colombian women and I frequently update this post.

Places frequented by tourists in Medellin are more saturated with foreigners than before. Hot Medellin girls are not the sole reason for this rise in tourism to “The City of Eternal Spring”, but it is definitely up there.

I am aware of the underworld of sex tourism in Colombia and I am aware that there are many strip clubs, and brothels in Medellin. Strippers and hookers are not the type of girls that I date, so I will not be referring to that in this post.

My situation is a little different than most foreigners here in Colombia. I am actually Colombian, my family is Colombian, and more importantly (aside from my height, 6’2″) I look Colombian. I have lived my entire life, barring the past 5 years of course, in Southern California. At first glance Medellin women do not perceive me as a foreigner due to the way I look.  So I do not have that instant “gringo effect” on them.

The “gringo effect” is the reaction a foreign guy gets from girls here in Medellin. It is an immediate sense of curiosity that some Colombian women have upon meeting a foreigner. Most of my close friends here in Medellin are foreigners and I have seen girls break their neck checking them out as we walk down the street.

So I do not get that immediate attention here in Medellin.  Actually, I got more instant attention in Southern California; the “Latino effect.”  The only thing that makes me stand out to women here is my height, thank God for that one tall great uncle!

In the past, cousin marriage was practiced within indigenous cultures in Australia, North America, South America, and Polynesia . Various religions have ranged from prohibiting sixth cousins or closer from marrying, to freely allowing first-cousin marriage. Cousin marriage is an important topic in anthropology and alliance theory . [8]

Children of first-cousin marriages may have an increased risk of genetic disorders , but this can only be estimated empirically, and those estimates are likely to be specific to particular populations in specific environments.

According to Professor Robin Fox of Rutgers University, 80% of all marriages in history may have been between second cousins or closer. [9] The founding population of Homo sapiens was small, 700 to 10,000 individuals; therefore, a certain amount of inbreeding is inevitable. [10] Proportions of first-cousin marriage in Western countries have declined since the 19th century. [11] [12] In the Middle East, cousin marriage is still strongly favored. [13] [14] [15]

Cousin marriage has often been chosen to keep cultural values intact, preserve family wealth, maintain geographic proximity, keep tradition, strengthen family ties, and maintain family structure or a closer relationship between the wife and her in-laws. Many such marriages are arranged (see also pages on arranged marriage in the Indian subcontinent , arranged marriages in Pakistan , and arranged marriages in Japan ). [7] [9] [16] [17] [18]

In 1846, Massachusetts Governor George N. Briggs appointed a commission to study "idiots" in the state, and this study implicated cousin marriage as responsible for idiocy. Within the next two decades, numerous reports (e.g., one from the Kentucky Deaf and Dumb Asylum) appeared with similar conclusions: that cousin marriage sometimes resulted in deafness , blindness , and idiocy. Perhaps most important was the report of physician Samuel Merrifield Bemiss for the American Medical Association , which concluded cousin inbreeding does lead to the physical and mental depravation of the offspring". Despite being contradicted by other studies like those of George Darwin and Alan Huth in England and Robert Newman in New York, the report's conclusions were widely accepted. [22]

These developments led to 13 states and territories passing cousin marriage prohibitions by the 1880s. Though contemporaneous, the eugenics movement did not play much of a direct role in the bans. George Louis Arner in 1908 considered the ban a clumsy and ineffective method of eugenics, which he thought would eventually be replaced by more refined techniques. By the 1920s, the number of bans had doubled. [5] Since that time, Kentucky (1943), Maine (1985), and Texas (2005) have also banned cousin marriage. The National Conference of Commissioners on Uniform State Laws unanimously recommended in 1970 that all such laws should be repealed, but no state has dropped its prohibition. [3] [9] [23]

For example, the marriage of Louis XIV of France and Maria Theresa of Spain was a first-cousin marriage on both sides. [31] It began to fall out of favor in the 19th century as women became socially mobile. Only Austria, Hungary, and Spain banned cousin marriage throughout the 19th century, with dispensations being available from the government in the last two countries. [32] First-cousin marriage in England in 1875 was estimated by George Darwin to be 3.5% for the middle classes and 4.5% for the nobility, though this had declined to under 1% during the 20th century. [33] Queen Victoria and Prince Albert were a preeminent example. [34]



Kissing Cousins - TV Tropes

A: When it comes to the biological relationship between prospective spouses, the Church has laws which are based on natural law. We all know that genetic problems tend to arise in children whose parents are too closely related by blood. Canon law is therefore simply reflecting what nature (i.e., God) intended.

A casual reader of canon 1091 , the canon which directly addresses Jeremy’s question, will most likely find it hopelessly confusing. Among other things, it states that marriage is invalid between persons related by consanguinity in all degrees of the direct line ( c. 1091.1 ), and that in the collateral line, marriage is invalid up to and including the fourth degree ( c. 1091.2 ). Understanding how to apply these abstract rules to concrete cases probably requires a little unpacking first!

While direct-line consanguinity is pretty easy to calculate, figuring other blood relationships can quickly become rather complex. The term “collateral line” refers to all relationships that at least partly involve siblings. Brothers and sisters are the clearest example of relatives in the collateral line, but collateral-line consanguinity refers also to relations between aunt/uncle and niece/nephew — as well as to cousins.

Complications arise because as we all know, there are various types of aunt/uncle and niece/nephew relationships (great-aunt and great-nephew is one example), and there are certainly many types of cousins. What we popularly term “first cousins,” for example, are the children of two siblings, but there are second- and third-cousins to contend with as well. The list of collateral relationships goes on and on!

To make the picture even more confusing, the Code of Canon Law is based on old Roman law when it comes to family relationships, so it doesn’t use our common terminology. That’s why the term “first cousin,” for example, is found nowhere in the code. In canon 108 , the code provides some general definitions to explain the system it does use, which involves lines and degrees.

We’ve already seen how the “lines” work; consanguinity involves either direct lines or collateral lines. But how does one calculate the “degrees”? Let’s take a few cases as examples, to see how it works, and then see how canon 1091 on marriage directly applies to them.

Picture two siblings, Nancy and Mark. They are two people with a common ancestor (or in this case, two common ancestors—their parents). In accord with canon 108.3 , we count the persons in both lines, but not the common ancestor(s). There are only two people involved here, and therefore Nancy and Mark’s relationship is considered second-degree consanguinity in the collateral line.